9:30: Registration. "Are you in the 'fast runners' category?" Ha. Oh yeah. 25,000 runners? I'm looking to win this whole thing.
9:40AM: Ready to run! Feeling supremely athletic.
9:42: And we're off. This is so cool, look at all these people. Go us.
9:43: I have to pee.
9:50: Tunnel's a bit congested. Pretty sure elbowed multiple people on my way in. Including Chuck Schumer. Oops.
9:57: ....things are starting to smell weird in here.
10:04: Has this tunnel been extended recently? I never remember it being this long.
10:07: Need. Fresh. Air.
10:09: SUNLIGHT! I SEE SUNLIGHT! it's over. Thank you, Jesus.
10:10: ...where is the finish line? Why can't I see it? It must be right around this corner.
10:12: Okay, maybe this one. It's gotta be around this one. Oh! Water cups. That seems like a great idea.
10:13: Well that was kind of a waste of water, now wasn't it? Now I look like I'm moments from certain death with a drenched shirt. Not too far from the truth.
10:15: Feeling far less athletic. Want to stop running and eat some junk food. Maybe take a nap. Anything but this, really.
10:17: Commence dry-heaving. Breakfast would have been a good idea.
10:18: Stop telling me I'm almost there. You're liars, the lot of you. Some cheerleader a half-mile back said the same thing. Doesn't look like I'm done, does it? Bastards.
10:19: Oh. finish line. Glorious, glorious line. I'll sprint to you!
10:19: Who are we fooling here? You nearly puked at 2 miles and now you're some sort of marathoner? Slow and steady.
10:30: Can I go back to bed now?
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